Tag Archives: anger

How God Handles Anger (II)

Look at the Cross. When Jesus died on the Cross for undeserving sinners like us, what do you see? We see the simultaneous expression of God’s love and God’s anger!

At the Cross, God showed His anger at sin. He poured out His anger on Jesus, our Substitute. At the Cross, God showed His love for sinners. He poured out His love on us, the sinners. 

The Cross shows us how God handles anger. The Cross is our model for ‘anger management’.

[A] At the Cross, we see that God’s anger is redeeming.

Our relationship with God was broken by our sin and rebellion. Was God angry? Yes! What did He do in His anger? He promised to send the seed of the Woman to crush the head of the serpent (Genesis 3:15). This promise was finally fulfilled when Jesus died on the Cross for sinners. We see therefore that in His anger, He did not destroy what is already broken. Instead, He acted to repair what needs to be repaired. God’s anger actually makes things better. His anger is a redeeming anger.

When our spouse lets us down . . . when our children rebel against our authority . . . when our friends betray us . . . we are angry. But is the anger redeeming?  Does that anger operate to separate us or bring us together? Does it repair or damage the relationship further?

[B] At the Cross, we see God’s anger is communicative.

From the time we rebelled against God till the Cross at Calvary, God has been speaking to us (His people) about our sins. He doesn’t just drop hints, explode in anger arbitrarily, put up smokescreens, say “It’s OK” when it isn’t . . .  No, He speaks honestly and truthfully, He tells us where the problem lies. Even after the Cross, God continues to speak to us, telling us of our desperate need and His loving provision. He communicates honestly, in His anger. 

Do we talk? And when we talk, are we honest? I am not calling you to ‘let him/her have it’. I am exhorting you to speak in honesty what is really going on inside you, what drives your anger and irritation. God speaks. Do you?

[C] At the Cross, we see God’s anger is patient.

Remember that the initial wrong, the betrayal, took place in Genesis 3. Instead of taking a rash “I-will-settle-it-now” attitude, He took His time to work through the problem. How long? From Genesis 3 to Matthew 27, it is roughly 4000 years! S-L-O-W to anger!! Yet throughout this period of time, He wasn’t adopting an “accept-anything-and-affirm-everything” stance. Deliberate words were spoken, purposeful actions were done, word for word, step by step, leading up to Calvary.

Is there purpose and timeliness in our anger? Or is it (normally) rash, just to let off steam and feel better? Do we pick our words as well as time and place to tell the other person our anger? Is our anger patient?

[D] At the Cross, we see God’s anger is sacrificial.

The Cross costs God something. It costs the sacrifice of His only Son. No greater sacrifice could He give than that. In His anger, He acted for our good!

When we are angry, is it about self-interest or his/her-welfare? Is our anger sacrificial? Are we willing to do something that will cost us and yet result in the good of the person who provoked us?

God’s anger is redeeming, communicative, patient and sacrificial. We are not called to be less angry, but more God-like in our anger. But how can I be like God in His anger? There is no magic formula. We become God-like when we invest time to walk with God. The closer we walk with God, the closer our anger will look like His. Are you willing?

WEI En Yi

How God Handles Anger

Anger is “I’m against that!” You encounter ‘that’, you assess ‘that’ as wrong, you deem ‘that’ as important to you and hence you move to oppose ‘that’. This is anger in action.

While there is righteous anger, most of the anger expression we see daily belongs to the sinful anger category – irritability, argumentative, resentment, bitterness, nursing grudges, physical violence, vindictive words . . . 

James was talking about sinful anger when he called us to be slow to wrath “for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20). Sinful human anger doesn’t work. Consider . . . 

(a) You shouted at your children in anger because you’ve asked them twice to pack up and nothing moved! Seeing your seething anger, they started . . . it works, right? No, because the next time, you may have to shout even louder and maybe bang the table before they will move! Our sinful human anger does not work (not effective and not for long).

(b) So irritated by the behaviour of your younger sibling, you started to use vindictive words and before long, physical violence starts to appear . . . Would your sinful expression of anger change your spouse? Unlikely! More likely, it will breed resentment and bitterness in him/her . . . Anger breeds anger . . . It is contagious!

The wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Remember this – regularly, constantly, daily! It does not work. It is not effective. In fact, it is counterproductive. The situation only gets worse, both of you are worse off and God is dishonoured.

So do you mean to tell me that I must never be angry?  No, the call is not “don’t you ever be angry” but “be God-like in your anger”! The Bible does portray God being angry, angry with our sins. How does He express His anger? How does He ‘handle’ anger?

Remember That God Is Slow To Anger.

This is one of His glories, isn’t it? The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. (Psalm 103:8). When God encounters sin, He is against it! Definitely!! But He is not quick, not eager, not can’t-wait to give us the wrath that we sinners deserve. 

We are called to imitate Him: He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly. (Proverbs 14:29). To be slow to anger does not mean that we are indifferent to the wrongs being done, that we condone or compromise with the sinful behaviour. We are against it. However, we want be S-L-O-W in our expression of anger, like God.

This is especially important for us because unlike God, we are not sinless. We need to be slow to anger because we are so often unaware of what gods we are serving in our hearts as we get angry. Maybe we are angry, not just because of the sinful conduct of that person, but because our security, our peace, our pleasure, our _______ is being threatened. We therefore need to go S-L-O-W, to examine our anger, to ask, “What does this anger say about my heart?”

David says in Psalm 4:4, “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still.” David was wrestling with the wrong and unfair treatment meted out to him by his enemies. Wrong and unfair treatment is wrong, and David is against that! But instead of acting quickly in anger, speaking rashly, lashing out, he is calling himself to go S-L-O-W and seek to understand his anger. Maybe I am overreacting . . . Maybe I have misread the situation . . . How would I know? Ask the Lord to search my heart. Before the sun goes down, I must meet my Lord so that I will know what to say and how to approach it. In simple words, he is calling himself, as well as calling all of us, to be still before the Lord, to let Him search our hearts and to hear what He has to say!

There are other aspects of God’s anger management that we will look at in the coming weeks. But till then, here’s one aspect to learn and imitate: 

Be S-L-O-W to anger. So God help me!

WEI En Yi

Anger 101

Angry ChildIn the Bible, we read that God was angry (Joshua 7:1 — due to Achan’s sin). Yet “slow to anger” (Psalm 103:8) was one of His glories. We know that Moses, a godly man, was angry (Exodus 32:19 – the incident of the Golden Calf) and Saul, an ungodly man, was angry (1 Samuel 20:30 – angry that Jonathan sided with David). In Revelation 12:12, we learn that the devil was angry. Ephesians 4:26 calls Christians to be angry and sin not, while Ephesians 4:31 exhorts Christians to put away wrath and anger. So what is anger? Is it ok or not ok to be angry? Should we work towards being someone with no anger?

“I’m against that!” These three words sum up what anger is. You encounter something, you assess it as wrong, you deem it as important to you and hence you move to oppose it, whether to right it or remove it. Put in this way, you will see that anger is rightly called “the moral emotion”. In anger, we make a moral judgment.

Let’s explore this using the following two scenarios:

[A] A single mother at the shopping centre with her 3-years-old boy. The boy wanted a candy bar, she said ‘No’ and he threw a tantrum. She slapped him, shouted at him and threatened to leave him!

By throwing a tantrum, that boy showed his anger. What happened? He wanted something but was denied. He assessed it as wrong — How can you say ‘No’ to such an important person as I? Hence, he created a scene with the goal of correcting the perceived wrong! By shouting, slapping and threatening, the mother expressed her anger. Maybe she felt burdened by him. Maybe she wanted a peaceful afternoon. Maybe she wanted to grab what she needed and get out of that place quick, without meeting anyone familiar. That’s all gone now, with his tantrum! He has embarrassed her once more! That’s wrong, that’s so unfair and so she exploded!!

 

[B] You were on your way to a holiday resort. You can’t wait to get there. But you were stuck in this traffic jam for the last 2 hours! You breathed hard, deep. You find yourself repeating curse words (under your breath) you’ve not used for a long time. 

Why were you angry? The holiday was crucial to your emotional well-being, but the jam was stopping you from your well-deserved break! Why can’t the government solve the traffic woes? Why can’t drivers drive more carefully and not cause accidents? Don’t the rest of the drivers know that it’s ME going for a break and that they should just give way to this VVIP?

 Now, as you looked out of your window, you saw young children, some without hands and some without legs, begging. Your taxi driver told you that they were actually controlled by a syndicate, that they were kidnapped, had their limbs chopped off so that they will look more pitiful as they begged. You exclaimed, “How terrible! The people behind this thing ought to be shot!”

In both instances, you were angry, you were saying, “I’m against that!” But in the 1st case, it was “perceived unfairness to yourself” that is in focus while in the 2nd case, it was “real injustice to others”. Is there any difference between these two instances of anger? In the second instance, was it better to have anger or no anger (indifferent)? Or if you have expressed pleasure at their misery?

Review the two scenarios above as well as the various passages quoted in the 1st paragraph. In every case, we encounter the same process: (a) something is encountered, (b) a negative assessment (it is wrong!) is made, (c) a personal evaluation (it is important to me!) is carried out, and (d) an action is taken. Note that (b), (c) and (d) are all moral in nature! In short, your anger reveals your moral value and it tells you who your real master is!!

Think of the anger of the devil, Saul, that single mother and her boy as well as the stuck-in-traffic-jam-Me. Imagine if you were indifferent to the terrible wrong done to those handicapped beggars. What moral values do they show? Who is the real master? Now think of God’s anger and Moses’ anger. They announce what is important to God and Moses. What do they announce?

You and I – we have all been angry, maybe even now! The more something matters to us, the more we care, the more important it is, the more we value it, then the more intense will our anger be! So what are you angry about?  What does your anger or non-anger announce about you? Your moral values? Your real master? 

My dear friends, in dealing with anger, let’s start with ourselves, with our own heart. What’s there?

 

Wei En Yi